Losing it all
by SW
Summary: A dream modivates Sanzo to make his feelings clear
1.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion as the monk turned toward the blast of light bearing down upon him

Losing it all

By SW

' ' –Sanzo thinking

Everything seemed to be in slow motion as the monk turned toward the blast of light bearing down upon him. The blurred movement of the boy rushing in front of, protecting him as they were sent flying. Debree falling about them, dust settling in a cloud. 

Sanzo pushed him self up on his elbows, weighed down by the limp form sprawled on top of him. Goku? His breathing was shallow...Damn...He was bleeding...Fuck. Large gold flecked orbs peered at him, a pain filled smile. 

"Yo Sanzo you ok?" The kid managed out, followed by a fit of coughing. "Baka! What the hell were you doing?!" He snapped, ' everything would be ok. ' "You ...f-finally got your ... wish." His breathing was becoming labored. 'No' "Shut up!" Was all Sanzo could say. Hakkai and Goyjo were running toward them. " Sanzo..." Goku's eyes were glazed over. 'He can't!' Hakkai was clutching his arm. "Shut up! Shut up!" The monk yelled, his hands shaking. "I-I......" The boy's body went slack, head falling back. His breath stilled. "GOKU GOKU!?!" Hakkai was crying, Goyjo had turned his head away with his eyes squeezed shut. Sanzo sat there silently, eyes wide in shock. "H-He's gone!" The brunette was shaking as the half-breed pulled him away. "Hope your happy Sanzo." He whispered in a barley controlled voice. Walking away with the distraught Hakkai, who was hanging onto him. "He was just a kid!" The words fading away.

Unable to move, the blonde haired monk sat there with the crumpled body in his arms. 'Goku.......You can't die.....I need ....You' He fell forward desperately hugging the broken boy. Tears rising in his eyes, he never said anything nice to him. 'I told him to shut up.' He stared down at the blood that covered his hands. He had lost everything that mattered to him, he sobbed. 

~Owari

A weird depressing little idea popped into my head, if Goku actually managed to protect Sanzo. 


	2. ~ Alternate ending/ Chap 2

Sanzo bolted upright, his eyes looking hunted

Losing it all ~ Alternate ending

By SW

****** Ok before you read be warned this has guy/guy relationship! This isn't anything like a lemon or lime thou! It's just a fluff fic. But if you don't like the idea of Sanzo and Goku don't read! ******* May I also point out that Goku is 18 and OVER 500 years old!

Sanzo bolted upright, his eyes looking haunted. Running a shaky hand across his face, he slid out of bed. His body covered in a cold sweat, dressing hurriedly. He headed downstairs, sitting him self at the table. Reassuring him self Goku was alive, leaning forward on his arms. *Just a nightmare. * He decided that he had to make sure the boy knew he didn't want him dead.

Hakkai smiled at him, holding a spatula in one hand and a frying pan in the other. Jeep was curled up on the window sill, making soft cooing noises as it slept. "Ohiyo Sanzo! Did you sleep well?" The monk merely grunted inresponse, The brunette continued to smile. "Oh could you tell Goku breakfast will be finished soon?" Sanzo got up silently and walked back up stairs. Stopping at the second door, he banged it with his fist until he heard the sound of foot steps. It swung open to revel the adorably disheveled Goku, who still looked rather sleepy. "Ohiyo Sanzo." He mumbled, grinning up at him. Taking a deep breath the monk prepared himself.

In one fluid movement he had the boy pinned against the nearby wall. Making sure to cover the smaller figure completely with his own. Goku's face flushed brightly at the sudden contact, looking very confused. *Kawaii... * Sanzo looked down at him. "Goku I would never want you to die. You're important to me. Do you understand?" The monk spoke clearly with out pausing. "H-Hai Sanzo! Are you feelin-" Goku was cut off as Sanzo captured his lips with his own, pressing a kiss that caused the demons mind to go blank. 

Abruptly as it had begun, Sanzo pulled back. "Oh and Hakkai told me to tell you breakfast is almost done." Releasing the younger man from his hold, he calmly walked back down stairs. Leaning heavily against the wall, glassy gold eyes blinked owlishly. "That was one hell of a wake up call." He mumbled, fingering his lips in a dazed manner. His legs were weak, taking a few minutes to get himself back under control. He began to walk down to the kitchen, musing over something that had accrued to him. *Sanzo is surprisingly warm for someone that appeared to be that cold. *

~Owari for real this time!

*Screaming * My Shounen ai obsessed friends have finally begun to warp my mind!!!!! *spasm twitch twitch * Hides in fall out shelter Don't kill me blame it on them!! Their fault!!!!!!! _ 

******I dun own Saiyuki! Kazuya-sama does! Which is why we shall worship him/her as a god!!!! Lights candles in front of shrine. It's 3 in the morning what the hell do you expect? A sane fanfic writer? *Deranged laughter * 


End file.
